FINE, TOTALLY FINE
Here.
Today's lunch.
You want something else?
A doughnut?
Scotch tape!
Bird-watching?
What-watching?
Back in samurai days, it was an execution ground.
It was the middle of summer, but I felt cold chills.
'I don’t like this,' I thought, and turned to go back...
...but my foot wouldn't move.
It was like a hand had reached up out of the ground and grabbed me.
And right then...
...I heard a voice from behind me, going...
...'Give me water!
'I'm burning!'
What are you doing?
Nothing.
'Give me water!
'I'm burning!
'Give me water!'
It was like a voice straight out of hell.
Isn't that scary?
Not very.
That's because you're so dense.
That's why you walk around without realizing your dick's out.
I'm beat!
Food...Food...
There's oden left, huh?
No.
You ate it all?!
I tossed it.
You what?!
It smelled weird.
Your nose is weird.
More than your nose, lately.
Your head, your body...
It's not summertime. Oden won't go bad.
Hey...
Take over for a while.
What?!
I'm sick.
I've been doing manual labor since before dawn, you know!
Not just sitting here spaced out like you.
I want to rest my ass off!
Then I’m ordering in.
Sushi.
The good stuff.
You don't know who’s had that. It's dirty.
Nothing that’ll make you sick.
It might. Germs cause disease, you know.
No one ever got sick from a used book.
Still, they’re filthy!
He’ll hear you!
There might be someone's snot on that.
No way!
One I bought had snot on it in about ten places!
You're lying!
No, really!
Anyway, who cares? The books are cheap.
And so are you. Look, I'll pay the difference.
Ow!
There’s a bug in my eye...
Let me see.
Thanks.
That’s not a bug.
It's snot!
That old man who cleans on the second floor...
Yes...
I've never actually seen him drinking...
...but he smells of alcohol, and he staggers.
While I'm working...
You don't drink?
No.
And before work?
Not right before.
How long before?
About an hour.
That sounds like 'right before' to me...
You're working hard.
Hello.
Isn’t this Mrs Yoshikawa's area?
Yes.
That's right...
Look.
Gum.
It's been there for a while. It's like rock.
How could you just ignore that? She doesn't take the job seriously.
That's not true...
Yes, it is.
Sure, her husband owned a company, but it went broke.
Well, it's good we've got someone like you to help out...
...even if it's someone else's area.
Thank you.
You're the only one on earth who says nice things to me.
Oh, yes...
We’ve formed an association to find you a wife.
What do you mean?
A man as nice as you is too easily taken in.
That girl in the office, um...
Ms Umezawa?
Her. She's after you.
No, she isn’t!
You miss a lot, don’t you.
Or maybe you just pretend to.
That's not true.
I see...
Yes...
Here he is.
It's Mr Shiojiri.
Komori speaking.
I'm still at head office. The meeting's not finished yet.
Could you interview that woman for me?
Yes, sir.
Take care of it.
Do you have that woman’s resume?
Yes.
Kinoshita, Akari
She's quite pretty.
Yeah, I guess so.
But she has a negative aura.
Could youse be getting the Tower in wit' us?
Me lens...
I'm sorry.
You meant that.
You be thinking we’s a pair o' hicks!
That phony shaking...
You meant that!
I'm sorry!
So much for her.
I'm sorry.
Are you OK?
Yes.
Your nose is bleeding...
Use that tissue paper.
Shall I help?
I'm fine.
War and Peace
Lately...
...I thought I'd read a world classic like this one.
But it's so damn long, and there’s too many themes...
Can you suggest...
...a book that might leave you with a feeling of human growth?
Hey...
Want to go to Disneyland?
With you?
Back in samurai days, it was an execution ground.
It was the middle of summer, but I felt cold chills.
'I don’t like this,' I thought, and turned to go back...
...but my foot wouldn't move.
It was like a hand had reached up out of the ground and grabbed me.
Just as I was struggling as hard as I could...
...I heard a voice from behind me, going...
...'Give me water!
'I'm burning!
'Give me water!'
It was like a voice straight out of hell.
Sometimes you're afraid to turn around...
...but you’re afraid not to turn around, too.
So I said 'to hell with it' and I turned around.
And right then...
Learn from your son, Eitaro.
Life's more fun when you're an idiot.
Just like you planned, huh?
Next time I'm calling the police.
Got you going, huh?
My heart damn near stopped.
You’re crazy, you know that?
You haven't seen this one.
It's great.
Who's she?
I don't know.
You can't do that! That’s against the law!
Oh, come on!
Wow!
What are you so quiet about?
You’re bringing us down.
Well...
...I’ve had enough of this.
Sorry, but I quit.
We both turn 30 next year.
We can't keep playing these kids' games forever.
Sakamoto Ryoma, Mozart... they’d done great things by now.
I'll be going.
'Night.
Good night.
Oh...
...this is good for dusting your books.
Our company makes them. This one was left over.
Who's a two-bit clerk to talk?
Who does he think he is?
Being treated as a kid has bugged me ever since I was a kid.
Mozart! Yeah, sure!
Messing with my head gives me a headache.
There's some aspirin up in that top drawer.
Could you get if for me?
This?
I don’t do this just for fun, you know.
It's work, that's what it is.
Work?
Yeah.
Well, work in the future, maybe.
So what I do now...
...is like experiments, or research.
But is there such a thing as a job scaring people?
Yes.
A haunted house.
But not just one to fool kids, like at an amusement park.
One that will literally scare people to death.
Ultra-hardcore. Ultra deluxe.
And finally...
...we’ve had two people injured by used needles this month alone.
So assume there might be sharps in the trash, and be careful.
And this is Ms Kinoshita Akari. She's starting today.
Please...
My name is Kinoshita. How do you do.
Have a good day at work.
You look funny.
You look silly.
Our apologies. Today...
Our apologies. Today this store will be closed.
This infected medical waste goes directly into these boxes.
Ms Mizuno, if you would demonstrate...
Just like that.
Let's see you try it.
All right.
I'm sorry...
Hey...
I thought...
...after how he'd tormented me...
...it would be educational.
'Educational'?
And does a full-grown man always carry things like these?
You just like scaring children, that's all.
Is scaring people that much fun?
You’re a degenerate.
If this trauma makes him a criminal some day...
...will you take responsibility?
Mr Kurita's worried. He says you might be sick at heart.
Are you?
Have you eaten?
No.
Shouldn’t you?
I'm fine.
I'm going to make some spiced tofu.
I'll make some extra. You can heat it up if you want.
Now, that looks good!
That fish-paste sausage.
Have one.
I was hoping you'd ask.
Why are you watching that old lady?
I know!
You're a killer.
From a secret society planning to wipe out the homeless.
No!
Like Golgo 13.
Am I next after her?
For assassination?
I'm sorry I said that.
Go show her these pictures.
That's you.
Let's dance!
Come and dance!
How can you look at that stuff and eat at the same time?
Real bears aren't cute little things like this.
They’re big, and scary.
You're not like that, are you. You're cute!
Real bears have big fangs, like this!
You’ll traumatize her!
It’ll be your fault if she ends up some druggie prostitute.
Everybody and their damn traumas!
Dad's in bad shape.
He should see a doctor.
Absolutely not, he says.
What's that?
Himeji Castle.
It might take your mind off things.
You like castles.
I hope he doesn't try anything.
Like what?
What?
Like suicide...
Hey!
He won't...
No, he won't!
Sorry. That's my phone.
Hello?
Was that today?
We'll be waiting.
He'll be right here.
You should have called him this morning!
Teruo's a flake.
You're useless!
Leave him alone, Toshi . It's Teruo's fault, not his.
Sorry.
Sorry Antoinette.
Eat up.
Hurry it up, will you?
And...action!
I ate a cat.
I will always bear that sin.
Sorry about what I said.
That's OK.
You’re building a haunted house?
By despising me, you've kindled my ambition.
When I succeed, when I'm rich and famous...
...and you suffer, inferior and alone...
...remember it was your scorn that got me going...
...and eat your heart out.
Anyone starving will eat a cat if there's a cat in front of them.
The cat is not dead.
As you have eaten it, it is your flesh and blood...
...and lives on within you.
And what a fine Journey this has been!
Beautiful scenery, warm hearts, good food...
It's been everything a trip should be!
I'll never forget this trip.
Stop laying around watching TV and take a trip somewhere!
See ya!
When a Family Member is Sick at Heart
That's ¥600.
Would you like covers?
Yes, please.
I haven't seen you in the store for a while.
You remember me?
I was afraid you wouldn’t, or I'd have said hello.
Will you be working here again?
Just while my father has a break.
With my brother.
Say hello.
Here.
Thank you.
It's good.
What's wrong with this thing?
Don't break it.
It's brand-new.
This is a nuisance!
I’ve managed fine so far without ever writing...
...anything as stupid as a business proposal.
Entry-Level Business Proposals
Right! Let's do this.
I need more.
I wouldn’t do that.
Sugar’s the best thing there is to get your brain working.
It's brain fuel.
Yeah, but...
I’m using parts of my brain I don’t normally use.
So I need extra help.
Don't be so cheap.
I'm acting in your damn film for free!
Pay me my billion trillion yen!
No, cardboard on cardboard.
You peeping-tom!
So she’s your type?
What do you mean? I'm just concerned.
She seems to be taking a while to catch on.
Excuse me.
You're doing fine.
Get the elevator.
I'll bet you're the first person who ever broke a finger...
...pushing an elevator button.
Be careful, OK?
Take the rest of the day off.
Ms Umezawa says...
...she was all muddy and bleeding at her interview.
Yes.
Why did you hire her?
Subconsciously, you're afraid people won’t like you.
So you pretend to be a nice guy, and go easy on everyone.
Come in.
This, this haunted house...
...will be, in effect, a revolution in the global standards...
...of the amusement industry...
...that will be...
...um ...
This project will be the ultimate...
Thank you.
A great, revolutionary, revolution.
Teruo...
Yes?
I have no children.
You're more a son than a nephew.
More than a nephew, not quite a son.
But...there's nothing here.
To be honest...
...I didn't expect business-class quality from you, anyway.
But that doesn't matter.
The problem is, there's no passion here.
If there's no passion, it won't excite anyone.
A young man can do nothing without fire in his eyes.
Your only weapon...
...is strength born of desperation.
Surprised?
Yeah.
Astonish me that way.
Have you ever yet staked your life on something?
My life?
Yes. Have you done even one thing...
...you were willing to die trying?
Probably not.
Show me that in you.
Then I'll give you all the money you want.
Wipe here.
All right.
Who's got a scraper?
Anyone?
That.
That's called a 'scraper'.
It's a miracle it didn’t break.
That machine is very expensive.
Um...
I'll resign.
You will?
Thank you.
I want to create a very real haunted house...
...with virtual-reality ghosts.
That's really something.
So I think first I have to see an actual ghost.
You said your aunt runs a building with a haunted apartment...
There was a family suicide...
Could you get me in there for one night?
You throw salt to ward off evil.
Thank you.
I'll be on my way.
But do you really need to do this to make a haunted house?
Mr Otawara, have you ever staked your life on anything?
To do something big, you have to be prepared to die.
Teruo!
I've been wrong about you. I thought you were a flake.
Never doing anything, always complaining...
...quitting when things got hard...
...happy to bad-mouth people, furious when they bad-mouth you...
...and...
OK.
I get the picture.
But now I respect you.
You’re very brave.
Well, I'll be on my way.
They say the ghost appears about 3 a.m.
'Night.
There.
I think it’ll work now.
I killed him.
Great! Just like an electrician!
Anyone could fix it. It was just a loose screw.
But you're...
...really nice!
Most people wouldn't fix an old lady's video deck...
...expecting nothing in return...
You’re the only one I know.
You're one of the three nicest people I've ever met!
I'm not all that nice.
I'm 'Mr Nice Guy'.
The other day Mr Shiojiri said...
...I just pretend to be nice.
He's just jealous. People like you more than him.
This is excellent.
How I hate a flatterer!
I'll do the rest of those eggs.
I should be going...
No! We drink till dawn.
I’ll miss my last train.
I'll pay your taxi.
Yes, but...
...we have to work.
So what?
I won't rape you.
I've graduated from that. It's too much trouble.
I’ve risen above it.
I'm like that writer who became a Buddhist nun.
You know, Setouch Jakucho.
Vows...
What are you doing?!
Vows!
Careful!
I'm taking vows!